Three expert tips to help you when you go to ask for referrals.

Asking for referrals can be a delicate task. No one wants to come across as pushy or sales-driven. However, with the right approach, you can effectively tap into the power of referrals without making others feel uncomfortable. Here are three valuable tips to help you ask for referrals genuinely and respectfully: 

1. Build value. You need to establish a foundation of value and trust. Instead of immediately making your request, focus on giving first. Take the time to build meaningful relationships with your network, being attentive to their needs and offering assistance whenever possible. Stay top of mind with your contacts by asking about their requirements and offering help with anything from finding a reliable contractor to providing paint suggestions. By consistently showing your willingness to assist, you lay the groundwork for a genuine referral request later on.

“Requesting referrals doesn’t have to be uncomfortable.”

2. Be authentic. Acknowledging your professional objectives while being authentic is key to asking for referrals without sounding pushy. If you haven’t been in touch for a while, honesty is the best policy. Consider sending a reconnection letter where you express your genuine regret for losing touch and suggest meeting up. During your conversation, be forthcoming about your intention to ask for referrals. Offer your assistance and emphasize that you’re there to be helpful, not solely for self-interest.

3. Stay in touch. Maintaining regular contact is crucial. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to reach out. Instead, plan and schedule your interactions. Consider incorporating monthly handwritten notes, phone calls, or personal visits into your calendar. By intentionally staying in touch, you create a rapport that increases the likelihood of receiving referrals when the time is right.

By employing these three tips, you can ask for referrals with confidence and authenticity. When the time comes to make your referral request, you’ll find that others are more than willing to support you. If you have any questions or need further guidance, feel free to reach out at We look forward to hearing from you!